Dodge This
by madame of music
Summary: Your name is Karkat Vantas, and rubber balls hurt like hell.


You were going to murder John Egbert. You were going to tear out his intestines and string them up on your wall, and in ten years your kids will ask, "Dad, why are there intestines up on the wall?" And you would tell them that that's exactly what happens when you try to force dad to play dodge ball, now go run along and climb a tree or some shit. Whatever kids do these days.  
You really hate dodge ball.  
If it wasn't for stupid John, you never would have been having this problem in the first place. Normally, you'd hide in the school library, or outside by the old oak tree during gym because the coach did not give two flying fucks about some unathletic dipshit like you, but somehow Egbert had convinced you that playing dodge ball was a good idea and nothing bad could come from large, rubber balls flying at your face.  
So, you suited up in the puke green elastic banded shorts and black v-neck that was the standard PE wear, and stalked onto the court behind the rest of your classmates. Surprisingly, the coach knew your name even though the only class you had shown up to all year was the one about safe sex, because you desperately needed to see John's face get 50 shades of crimson like you knew it would.  
(And hearing the coach yell about how you could die from Chlamydia was an unexpected bonus.)  
Unsurprisingly, you were chosen last. Even Terezi was picked ahead of you, and she was fucking blind. And of course, in all your extensive piles luck, you end up with all the other barely coordinated kids. The only way you had a chance at winning this shitty game if Strider could carry the rest of your teams' weight.  
John, of course, ended up on the other team, along with his crazy sister, and the one scary Goth chick whose name escaped you, but you knew she and Kanaya had been banging since freshman year. You could already see Vriska picking out the best strategy to pick you off, the stupid bitch.  
The game started before realised, and you narrowly avoided one of her balls. She danced around the court, aiming at you. You don't know why she had it in for you, other than the fact that you may have told John of her not-so-secret crush on him. To be fair though, you thought he knew like everyone else.  
However, it wasn't any of Vriska's thrown balls that came and hit you in the face out of nowhere, but a ball Terezi threw jokingly.  
You could feel the blood gush out of your nose as soon as the red rubber rebounded. Your school was too cheap to replace the old schoolyard dodge balls with the foam ones every other school used now, otherwise your nose might not have been doing a poor imitation of a geyser right now.  
You were on the ground within two seconds of the whistle being blown. The hit must have knocked more out of you that you thought, because you could not remember for the life of you what to do with a bloody nose, and your head was beginning to pound with the fury of a thousand ungraceful elephants.  
You could hear people talking over you, discussing what to do. You felt someone pick you up, and suddenly you were being carried out of the gymnasium and to what you assumed would be the nurses' office.  
You rested your head against their chest, pressing your temple against the surprisingly cool fabric as your nose still dripped blood. "Sorry." You mumbled, apologising for the blood-stained shirt.  
"For what Kitkat?" They chuckled. That name...  
You let out a weak growl. "Strider?"  
"Mhm, right here babe." He said, smirking down at you. Your head was finally starting to clear, and the image of his sunglassed face wavered in front of you.  
"Put me down Strider. M'fine." You mutter, still too out of it to do much more. Your head hurt too much to yell at him like you normally would.  
"No can do babe. I'm taking you to Nurse Paint. Gonna get you all fixed up, aight?" He said, turning into the nurse's hallway.  
"Fine." You groaned, submitting yourself to your fate. You'd never say it out loud, but it was almost nice being carried by Dave. As long as he didn't fucking drop you, you were almost fine with this. Almost.  
He didn't respond as he pushed through the swing door into the large office. He set you on the bed, propping you up on the pillows before running to get Nurse Paint.  
It was not a moment late when the tiny round woman popped into the office. "Oh dear!" She said, frowning and hurrying over to where you were. "Darling Karkat, what hurts?" She asked, wiping gently at the blood on your chin.  
Darling? Okay, yeah, she may be your dad's girlfriend, but that was no excuse to call you darling. Ugh.  
"Just my head." You mumbled, taking the proffered towel and wiping off your face. You could see Strider, hovering out of the corner of your eye, and raised an eyebrow when Nurse Paint went to go get some painkillers.  
"Strider, I appreciate you carrying me here, but you should go back to class." There was no reason to be rude after he just carried you all the way across the school, but there was still a hint of annoyance in your voice.  
He stepped closer, plopping into the chair next to your bed. "No can do Kitkat. Gotta make sure you're okay."  
"Don't call me pet names douchenozzle!" You said, wincing at the volume of your voice.  
He smirked, the bastard, and kicked up his feet to rest on the edge of your bed. "Aw man, and just after I saved you too? Doesn't the valiant knight get a reward from the princess?"  
"If the reward is a foot up your ass, the sure." You growled, glaring at him. Fuck being nice, this douche was annoying the hell out of you.  
"Kinky." He said. The return of Nurse Paint denied you a snarky answer.  
"Here you are dearie." She handed you two white pills, and a cup of water before turning to Dave. "And you, mister, need to get back to class." She chided gently.  
Dave looked up at her. "I need to stay with Karkat. What if he dies Nurse Paint? Can't let that happen." He made his lip wobble, looking the picture of worried innocence.  
Nurse Paint sighed gently. Apparently the act had worked, though you knew he only wanted to stay to annoy you. "I'll write you a pass."  
She left, leaving you two alone once more. You swallowed your pills, and looked at him pointedly.  
"What?" He asked defensively, looking confused.  
"What are you staying here for?" You asked, irritated. You just wanted to lie down until this rubber ball induced headache went away.  
He shrugged. "Haven't gotten my reward yet."  
You frowned. "Wait, you were serious?" You laughed. "What am I supposed to do Strider? Grovel at your feet? Do tomorrow's homework?"  
He shook his head. "Nuh-uh."  
You raised an eyebrow. "Well, then what do you want? A new shirt?" You stared at the blood stained tee. "Sorry bout that, by the way."  
He shrugged, grinning. "No worries Kitkat. I've got more." He leaned forward, hovering over you. "And as for what I want?" His lips brushed against yours for only a moment, before he pulled back. "Just that." He mumbled, smiling at you.  
He just  
Kissed  
You  
Dave Strider just kissed you?  
Dave strider just kissed you.  
DAVE STRIDER JUST KISSED YOU.  
"Strider!" You said, snapping out of your daze. You could hear laughter around the corner, as he presumably began walking back to class. You jumped out of bed, fully expecting to follow him. Just as you reached the door, Nurse Paint caught you by the elbow, looking worriedly up at you. "Karkat? What's wrong?" She asked, moving you back to the bed.  
"Strider-" You said, before she cut you off.  
"Oh, you're such a good friend! But don't worry, David got his pass. Come back to bed and rest. That headache of yours will take far longer to go away if you're running around school."  
"But-"  
"Now, now, no objections. To bed with you!" She guided you back to the bed, sitting you down. You laid down, and she tucked a blanket around your shoulders, patting you twice on the top of the head, before leaving you alone.  
Goddamn that stupid, idiotic, attractive boy. Stupid Strider.

* * *

A/N: I am sorry this is literally such a lame title.  
Anyway yeah have some Davekat I've been meaning to upload.


End file.
